It’s very frustrating to have a partner who isn’t orgasmic. Your partner might not be as interested in making love as you are, and might not understand why it’s as important for you as it is.

What’s the right thing to do if you are very horny, and in love with a partner who doesn’t enjoy sex as much as you? Do you cheat? well … Do you make your partner feel guilty for not wanting to make love? No, that only makes things worse.

You try every option you can. You look at every fix that’s available. You try everything, and you don’t stop looking. Not until you can get into bed looking at your partner with a great big smile, and see her grinning back.

ANTERIOR FORNIX STIMULATION (AFS) was discovered by Chee Ann Chua, a Malaysian marriage counselor. It was described in the academic (peer-reviewed) journal , SEXUAL AND MARITAL THERAPY in 1997. Ms. Chua described the therapy as ‘radical.’ This only means that it requires actual, sexual touch to work. Have fun.


Where do you stimulate?
On the Anterior Fornix of the vagina. Its located on the front wall of the vagina (towards the belly-button or navel), just below the cervix. It’s about 3/4 of an inch to 1 1/2 inches long. Its borders are not very well-defined, and the texture is smooth (not like the G-Spot). Most health illustrations of the vagina show it from the side, which would give you a side view of anterior fornix. If you place the tip of your finger over the cervix, and move it down a bit, staying on the front wall, your fingertip will be on the anterior fornix. If you keep moving it down, you will feel the texture change. That means that your finger tip is no longer in the right place. The Anterior Fornix is marked ‘HERE’ on the diagram below (the RED spot).

How do you stimulate?
Gently but firmly. Your partner may be feeling new sensations, so ask her how she wants it. If she says ‘harder’, then do it harder. Use your Finger. I do not recommend using ‘sex toys’ for this. Ask your partner how it feels. Use a firm touch, but don’t ‘dig in.’ Remember that if this works for you, your partner will experience something new, and it’s VERY important that she be as relaxed and free of fear as possible. If you do anything that hurts, she will feel begin to feel nervous, and that makes reaching orgasm very difficult. It can take several sessions. Play with it. Try moving your finger in several different ways. Experiment. Ask her what gets her most excited, then do that more.

How long does it take?
Each session should last a continuous 15 minutes. The sensations that appear before orgasm can be intense, and it could take your partner a few sessions to get used to them. Have patience. Don’t pressure your partner to ‘come.’ Just let her enjoy the sensations as they come up. If you ask ‘did you come?’ each time, you might make her feel ashamed of her ‘failure.’ She’ll let you know when it’s a success.

How many sessions should it take?
In the published study, 15% had orgasms during the first session, and 65% noticed increased lubrication or a decrease in dryness. The study did not report on the effects of following sessions (done at home, and not in the clinic), but one woman who reported back to us said that she had her first orgasm at the fourth stimulation, (all in one evening) and that the second and third sessions made her more aroused than she thought was possible. She was 43 years old at the time, and had been married for 18 years. She also reported that her G-spot became very sensitive immediately afterwards, and that the next day, G-spot stimulation brought her to four orgasms in less than ten minutes.

Like everything to do with sex, different people respond differently.

Is there any way I can do this without my partner knowing? I think she’d die of embarrassment if I asked her to let me do this. Besides, I’d be shy about asking.
Yes, if you both like for her to receive oral sex. Just use your mouth (again, be gentle) as you usually would, and and put your finger in her vagina. Find the anterior fornix, and get started. If she asks “what did you just do?”, tell her, and tell her that you want to do it again. She will probably let you. Otherwise, you may have to overcome your shyness for a few minutes, and just plain talk about it. Print this page. Show it to her.

Can you quote the original study?
Yes. AFS … “results in rapid onset of reflex vaginal lubrication and build-up of erotic sensitivity, culminating in orgasm in some cases.”

Some cases? Just Some?
Yes, but the study only reported the effects of the first session. The effects of multiple sessions has not yet been reported in the medical journals. Informal reports indicate that the first session is often only the beginning. Keep trying.

My wife and I stopped talking about sex years ago. How do I bring this up?
Show just a little courage, man. “Faint Heart ne’er won fair lady.”

It didn’t work. What went wrong?
Difficult to say for sure, but you should try to find out if she was relaxed enough. If she feels nervous, fearful, or anxious during sex, it may not work. Fear can stop sexual arousal in its tracks. If she is prone to anxiety, you may want to talk about seeing a psychologist or an epileptologist. There are types of epileptic events that are often accompanied by sharply diminished interest in sex.

NOTE: Lack of response to AFS is not, by itself, an indication of, or symptom of, any mental or physical disorder.

End of article.